What’s a “rut”? Let’s ask Google:
1. A sunken track or groove made by the passage of vehicles.
2. An uninspired routine or pattern of behavior that one continues unthinkingly or because change is difficult.
“the relationship was stuck in a rut and was losing its direction”
synonyms: boring routine, humdrum existence, habit, dead
What’s the solution? Fun.
It used to be the way you described your relationship.
Before the “boring routine” or “humdrum existence.“
And now? Well. Not so much.
Not that you’re unhappy or less in love. There’s so much to do.
You’re just not playing or laughing much these days.
Your relationship could really use a good dose of recreation and pleasure.
Don’t worry. Relationship ruts happen. There’s a lot you can do to bring back the fun in your relationship:
“We” time is fun. Prioritize each other. Unplug your electronics and tune into each other. You may be surprised at the fun you come up with when you’re not so distracted.
PDA is fun. Affection lays the groundwork for fun. Soon, you start to look for ways to spend time together. Hugs, massages, hand holding, and deeper kisses ramp up a desire to spend time together enjoyably.
Reminiscing is fun. Where did you like to hang out when you first got together? Memory lane is a great place to start for a good time together.
Adventure is fun. It’s no secret that time together is vital for the health of your relationship. Surprise each other with new ideas for activities, getaways, and skills to learn.
Goals are fun. Dream a little; make a bucket list or belated New Year’s resolution. Recommit to an enjoyable life together, set goals and work toward something concrete together. Rewards can be fun too.
Celebrations are fun. Don’t discount the benefits of public praise. Let other people know how much you think of your partner. Send a cake to the office, tie a balloon to his or her car, and celebrate everyday successes as well as the big ones.
Feedback is fun. How often do you voice your appreciation for each other? Offer positive feedback and unmitigated praise. You’ll both feel more confident and loved. And definitely ready to have more fun.
Treadmills are fun. The rush of endorphins created by a good workout is a natural high. Exercise-induced wellbeing fights depression and infuses good feelings. Motivate each other, and play hard as a couple.
Chores are fun? They can be. Race to get the mundane stuff out of the way and reward each other for a job well done. Run errands and wash dishes together. Consider it a little extra time to connect.
Fantasies are fun. Share them. Whisper them. Write them down. Act them out. It’s all fun worth having.
Predictability is fun. Just because sex is scheduled doesn’t mean lovemaking itself is predictable. You simply have time to plan, build anticipation, and truly focus on having a good time.
Unpredictability is fun. Spontaneous sex is great too. Try new techniques and locations.
Seek fun support. Okay, this might not sound like fun. However, if attempts at fun are blocked by persistent issues, arguments, or resentment, something else is going on. Let a couples counselor help you work through some of the tough stuff, so that fun feels possible again.
Be the fun. What originally drew your partner to you? Foster those qualities. Be the happiness and fulfillment, internally, you want to have with your partner. The happier and more fulfilled you are, the more fun you’ll bring to your relationship.
Neil Ward Counselling Glasgow provides couples counselling. If you would need help with your relationship, call 07970 860 711.