If you suffer from frequent bursts of anger and direct them at your partner, anger management counselling may be for you. They can compliment traditional couples counselling and help improve your relationship in several ways.
It may not seem like the clearest solution for a troubled relationship, but anger management counselling can be a very effective way of dealing with issues relating to angry outbursts and frequent arguing between partners. Not only can they help you deal with your anger in a healthy and thoughtful way, but they can improve your relationship in various ways that may not seem obvious at first.
Anger management counselling can… help to identify underlying emotions
It is often the case that anger is not the main emotion at play when there is a disagreement between a couple. Instead, it is usually a reaction to another more complex set of emotions.
Anger can be the result of an underlying sense of fear, worry, distress, loneliness or many other emotions, or indeed a mixture of several. Let’s say that every time you are in the car with your partner, you end up bursting out in anger at them when they don’t turn as quickly as you expect, or stop very suddenly at a red light. Here, you may be experiencing an underlying fear due to lack of control of the situation, and while this may not be rational, you are still allowed to feel it.
Once you have identified these underlying emotions, you can then work on addressing them individually as part of your anger therapy. This process can bring to light the real issues that need to be dealt with, and as a result, hopefully strengthen your relationship.
Anger management counselling can… build trust between partners
It can of course be hard to trust someone when they are not in control of their actions as a result of anger as it can be hard to know whether or not they will take anything you say as a personal affront and lash out at you. In couples this can be especially dangerous as it will quickly tear people apart.
One way in which taking an anger management counselling can build trust where it may not have always existed, is in giving you the opportunity to practice letting go of disagreements with your partner after they are settled. This will show your loved one that once an issue has been dealt with, they are not going to risk walking into the trap of being told what they did wrong in that particular situation again, which could potentially ignite a whole new argument.
Anger management counselling can… provide a platform for better communication
Learning to identify and talk about your feelings with your partner is the first step in having more effective and fluid communication as a couple. Anger therapy can teach you many of these skills as you’ll spend time looking for the root of your anger, identifying the underlying emotions associated with it and expressing all of this in a non-confrontational way to your partner.
This, in turn, will make it easier to listen to and understand each other because you won’t need to be on the defensive all the time, and as a result, you will start to find communicating with each simpler and more satisfying.
Anger is not the problem, it’s a symptom
In general, anger itself is not the main cause of problems between couples, but rather how each person deals with that anger, where they direct it and how they let it influence their actions and decisions. Anger management counselling can inform you as a couple in identifying and dealing with anger in a constructive and useful way that will help you grow together.